"The comparison game, the measuring yourself against others game, is pure ego and it's pure craziness. It never ends well. And you're only going to end up being an imitation of someone else and being disappointed in who you are." — Fraser Cameron
How does the ego drive the “comparison game” that results in imposter syndrome?
Today is a continuation of our previous episode, taken from a recent workshop in our Freedom Circle, featuring epic performance coach Fraser Cameron discussing the power of letting go of the ego to define your true purpose.
In this episode, Curt Mercadante and Fraser discuss how ego drives imposter syndrome.
Based in New Zealand, Fraser is a coach who helps successful men transform from who you are into who you WANT to be - more fun and impact, supercharged relationships and health & wellbeing AND ultimate freedom and fulfillment.
FULL RAW TRANSCRIPT OF THIS EPISODE:
CURT MERCADANTE: You know, everything has to be an epidemic. Now that's curable by some sort of paid doctor or something. So LinkedIn is pushing imposter syndrome, hashtag imposter syndrome and, and really what we think of as imposter syndrome and maybe a self-esteem. It's actually ego, right? Because your ego is telling you, you gotta be like that person.
You've gotta be like, grant Cardone. You gotta be like, Gary V you gotta be like this. And it's like, be who you are. Right. But that's ego too. And people wouldn't think of it as ego. They may think grant Cardone, ego self-esteem imposter syndrome. Not, but they're the same.
FRASER CAMERON: Oh, absolutely. That the comparison going the measuring yourself against others game is pure ego and it's pure craziness.
It never ends well. And you're only going to end up being an imitation of someone else and being disappointed in who you are. So I think stripping away that and asking yourself what matters to me, you know, it's like, if no one sees this, if I'm in the middle of a, of a forest somewhere and no one sees me doing this, what, what should I.
So many people do things. That's like those people who video themselves, giving money to charity or helping a homeless person, they're not doing it because they want to help the homeless, but it's not doing it because they want other people to see them happen. The homeless person, right. Just help the homeless person.
If you want, you don't video it, you know, like if that's what you want to do, like that's where it's got to the point where we're doing it based on how we want others to perceive. And I, whereas we should just do things because it feels right to us, irrespective of who sees that. And that's where I've actually changed.
My view on legacy is we've gone through this because I've gone through my, my journey because legacy is quite ego-driven, you know, it's like, what do I want to leave behind? What do I want to be known for? What, you know, I want people to keep saying my name when I, when I pass on that's ego driven as well, you know, like stripping that away and just actually being in the moment and go, what do I want to do?
What matters to me. I think it's it's game time. I'm my kids have quite, you notice my hair is growing much like you. Um, and my kids commented since I started growing it out. I've been more relaxed and I think it's been more to do with what I've let go of around the ego and measuring against others. Um, I, I can't honestly tell you, I don't care at all.
I'm heading towards that point, but I care a lot. About what I was thinking about measuring against others. It's a journey. I might be on it forever. I might get there next week. Who knows, but letting go of that and actually asking yourself the question. No one watching. No one's paying attention. I don't know what anyone else is doing.
What I still do. That's what I still do at this.