“Our beliefs are so strong. Because they’re subconscious, they change our thinking in subtle ways and before we know it, if we had a positive belief, we are frickin’ amazing and happy, and if we have a negative one, it ends up tragically unless we figure out how to take charge of (our minds).” — Umar Hameed
Umar Hameed helps salespeople, realtors, and entrepreneurs 2X their sales by building a winning mindset.
Umar is a keynote speaker, an author, and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) performance coach. He has been a successful business and sales consultant since 1994; changing human behavior using Applied Neuroscience and NLP since 2003; a keynote speaker at conferences in 16 countries; author of 3 books including, Unleash Your Crazy Sexy Brain!
Raw Transcript of this Episode:
[00:00:00] Curt Mercadante: Hey, freedom lovers. Curt Mercadante here. Welcome to yet. Another episode of the freedom media network. As always, we bring you interviews with incredible people, helping you to build what I like to call holistic freedom, whether it's freedom in your business, health, freedom, spiritual freedom, freedom of thought you name it.
[00:00:20] Today, we're gonna, we have a guest, who's gonna speak about something that really crosses a number of those lines. He works specifically with business people, but first I have something free to offer you. If you take out your smartphone right now and text the keyword free, man, all one word, FREEMA N to the number 55678
[00:00:43] that's all you have to do. It's free. You will get a text in return from me. With my free freedom lifestyle, audio course, modules delivered directly to your inbox that you can listen to just like a podcast. And if you're listening to this podcast, I know [00:01:00] you know how to listen to things. So text that, take out your smartphone, text Freeman to five, five, six, seven, eight.
[00:01:05] It's free. It will help you start designing your life of freedom and living it. So without further ado, I'd like to introduce today's guest. He said, just use his first name, just like Madonna or Cher, right? Or now, now they don't even call her lady Gaga. It's just Gaga. That's what my that's what my daughter calls her.
[00:01:23] We have Umar who helps salespeople, realtors, entrepreneurs. Two X their sales by building a winning mindset. He's a keynote speaker, author, neurolinguistic programming performance coach. We're gonna talk a lot more about NLP mindset today. He's been a successful business and sales consultant since 1994.
[00:01:43] He's been changing human behavior. Using applied neuroscience and NLP since 2003 keynote speaker at conferences in 16 countries. We talked a little bit offline about his, about his travels and he's author of three books, including I love this. I love the title of [00:02:00] this unleash, your crazy sexy brain. Umar.
[00:02:04] Thanks so much for joining us on the freedom media network,
[00:02:07] Umar Hameed: super excited to be here. And, uh, we're gonna have a great conversation. Sometimes you can just feel it. So I'm not sure where it's heading, but it's gonna be somewhere cool. So dear listener, come on the journey with us and, uh, help us do a great show.
[00:02:19] Curt Mercadante: Absolutely. And, and, you know, to start off, we, we, we have some similarities we talked about before we jumped on here. We both over the last couple years, decided to sell everything kind of, uh, ditch the clutter, dissolve the clutter, except for what actually truly has meaning and start traveling the world.
[00:02:37] Um, what, what for you? I know for me, there was a, a number of triggers that led up to it and it wasn't just the. The COVID and other things that were going on, we'd been thinking about it for a while and just decided, Hey, let's do it for you. Was it kind of a, you woke up one day and said I I'm moving and getting, or, or was it a, was it really part of a journey that you were
[00:02:57] Umar Hameed: on the thought was this the thought [00:03:00] was, Hmm, I probably got another 30 years left on planet earth.
[00:03:06] Have I made an impact so far on the answer was, do people love me? Yes. Do people like me? Absolutely. Have I made an impact? And the answer was no. So if I only got 30 years left, will I be able to do that in my comfortable house? In my comfortable life in Baltimore? And the answer was no. What did people do to really figure out what they should be doing and making an impact?
[00:03:28] The ancient art was going on a quest. and so, uh, April something, I had the thought by May 26th, I sold the house. I had garage sales, just got rid of everything, went to Goodwill and beyond. And, uh, literally 10 t-shirts, 10 underwear socks, two pairs of jeans, bathing suit, and a few items. Did you know, the average house has 300,000 items.
[00:03:55] If you count the spoons, the forks, the knives and everything. [00:04:00] And when I was cataloging everything, it was like, nothing has meaning I I've collected. I walked by it every day. I don't even realize it's there. And, uh, then I just started picking stuff that had emotional meaning for me. And there wasn't a lot and I went on a journey and I'll tell you one.
[00:04:18] Evening in my journey, then we'll kind of come back to continue this conversation. So I'm in Greece. Dinner starts at, uh, nine o'clock in the evening. It's in a courtyard with a 1500 year old tree. There's a wine expert at our table, ordering wines. We had 10 courses, six different bottles, types of wine, many bottles of each, uh, with new friends that I had found.
[00:04:44] And at, uh, one in the morning, the restaurant owner comes out, notices the wine critic starts bringing more wines over, start Seren us with songs. And the dinner ends at three in the morning. And I was thinking. Why am I doing this? I could have been at home in Baltimore [00:05:00] watching TV . So if you stay in that safe life, you end up doing safe things.
[00:05:06] And I like in a month and a half, I was on the other side of the world, making new friends, new experiences. And I think that's what life's about is the experiences that we have and the impact that we make. And that's what I see you doing. That's what I hope your listeners wanna do in their world. Making an impact, being happier in life.
[00:05:28] And that's my mission. How do we help people become happier and break through their limitations? So they become better, stronger. Bastar
[00:05:38] Curt Mercadante: I love it. And, and, and that, that kind of realization you had of, of the time left on the earth. And, and you said 30 years, but, but the bottom line is you and I could be dead tomorrow.
[00:05:49] I mean, I, I could go out and get hit by a bus in about five years ago. Uh, I woke up, I had a seven figure PR in ad agency that I had built and I was grinding and, and I like to tell people I was fat, drunk and stupid. [00:06:00] Uh, I wasn't an alcoholic, but I was drunk on prescription drugs, numbing the anxiety. I wasn't being a hu.
[00:06:05] I woke up on a Tuesday morning, fired every single one of my clients and brought my revenue to zero and started over doing what I'm doing now. And, and I've noticed over the last two years, if there is a flip side of the coin of what's happened, right. Which certainly is not, we don't want to happen what has happened.
[00:06:22] It's that a lot of people I find are waking up and realizing what the hell am I. You know, I, I, I, I talked to a guy yesterday, man. He made me feel like I had never ventured. He spent four, uh, three years with his wife on a sailboat. He, he had sailed, but not like over ocean sailing. The world came back to live in Sydney, right before the lockdown.
[00:06:47] So he's got some mental health issues, some physical issues and everything. Um, so thank you
[00:06:52] Umar Hameed: for sharing your story. Yeah. It's kind of interesting is, uh, what we know. [00:07:00] Is not enough. Uh, we had these headlights and we can see down the road, uh, in front of us. And we think that's all it is. But if you start driving, you start realizing the headlights, start eating up more and more new terrain, that there is a, a world of learning to do and a world of people to help.
[00:07:20] And some of the best lessons I've learned where I've become a genius. Is helping other human beings and the insights you get of taking your ego away and just helping other human being. And you're explaining something you already know, but cuz you have to dumb it down for the person you. Oh, my God, I'm learning it at a much deeper level.
[00:07:40] And how could I missed this all these years? So the reason there's another 8 billion people on this planet is not to get in your way, is to teach you about yourself and about your impact in the world. So embrace relationships, embrace adventures, cuz that's how you become the person you were always meant to.[00:08:00]
[00:08:01] Curt Mercadante: well, speaking of learning, um, you know, our listeners are gonna learn a lot today. Mm-hmm and we've, we've had, we've had sales trainers on, we've talked from skill, we've talked about mindset, but one thing we've never spoken about is NLP neurolinguistic programming. I know just enough about it to know.
[00:08:17] I don't know much. Um, but I also know that some people either. Like most things, uh, either have misconceptions about what it is somehow it's controversial. They read a Tony Robbins book that Tony Robbins has his own conditioning thing. So can you, I guess, very, basically you talked about dumbing it down as very basic.
[00:08:37] Sure. What is
[00:08:39] Umar Hameed: NLP? So here's how it started to end the, the essence of what it is, comes from, where they started, where they started was there was two gentlemen, Richard Bandler and John gr. And they worked at this Institute in, uh, Monterey, California. It was a mental health space. They'd have the world's leading [00:09:00] therapist coming to this place, doing lectures and doing their work.
[00:09:03] And some of those leaders. Did magical work. That'd be a family ripping itself apart and other family therapists would take, you know, months and months and months to, uh, do something. And there were people that were doing stuff in like a session or two like magical transformations taking this family ripping itself apart to, uh, being United again, love again.
[00:09:24] And when they would ask that person, Virginia Satera, how do you do that? She would have one of two answers. Well, Piece cake, uh, how I do it is, uh, a, B, C, D uh, that's how I do it. And other therapists were doing the exact same thing. And I say, wait a minute, you both can't be doing the same thing and getting different results.
[00:09:41] There has to be something going on at a deeper level, or she would say, they'd say, well, how did you know to say this at that moment? She might go, I don't know. So they looked at these amazing professionals and they figured they don't know what's going on, but something's happening at an unconscious level.
[00:09:57] So they developed something called modeling [00:10:00] to figure out what's happening at a deeper level. Like when the person said something, what picture popped up in your mind that triggered what you needed to say and how did that make you feel? And so they went down to the fundamentals of what it means to be a human.
[00:10:14] And they basically codified what they were doing. And then all of a sudden, someone like me could get a family ripping apart and bring them together like that. So it was a watershed moment from humanity and what they really. Taught people was this. You can have a family going to therapy for six months or a person going for six months.
[00:10:33] But then on Thursday afternoon, the therapist says something a moment before they said it, the person was broken the moment after they said it. They had an epiphany in their life changed. What happened in the moment when they said it in the person's mind. That is an LP, that change point. Hmm. And one of.
[00:10:52] Underlying principles of NLP is this is the best way we know now how to do something. And what that means is there's a better way [00:11:00] out there by definition. So we're looking at what other people are doing and taking all the dogma away and getting to the essence of what's happening inside the human brain.
[00:11:09] So that was the fundamental birth of NLP is just understanding what happens inside of mind when change happens, change for the good. Like all of a sudden I went from being afraid to being fearless or I was perfectly fine. And now I'm terrified of elevators. Like five minutes ago, you were fine. What happened?
[00:11:26] And if we could figure that out and that's what NLP is, but that's not the only path to create change. Here is my philosophy on human beings that you, Kurt, you may not know this, but you, my friend are a meaning making. Just as I am just as all the other 8 billion people on the planet, when we try and find meaning is when there's lots of emotions.
[00:11:50] So if you are, uh, on a bus and somebody gets on the bus, you're. Huh, you may not even notice, but if somebody gets on the bus and they're talking crazy, like, [00:12:00] and all of a sudden you're gonna go, oh my God, is this person dangerous? Are they gonna hurt me? Are they gonna stab someone? Because it's a highly emotional thing you need to make meaning out of it.
[00:12:07] And the meaning you make could be, be wary of people that are weird. Or it could be, oh my God, that person needs help. Or it could be something amazing. You're walking down the park and this kid falls over and this adult comes over and helps them up in this loving, amazing way. And it just makes your heart smile.
[00:12:24] And there's lots of emotions there. When in anytime an event happens with lots of emotions, we make meaning out of it. And many of those meanings end up becoming beliefs that define us mm-hmm . And the only problem is those beliefs that get created. Go down in the unconscious, out of our awareness and they create the behaviors that we do.
[00:12:45] Mm-hmm and these behaviors, we can't change. Cuz we don't realize there's a belief underneath locking it in place. Yeah. And so we go to a Tony Robbins seminar or, and go, oh my God, I'm gonna change my life. And we do change that [00:13:00] behavior. But because we didn't address the underlying belief. The gravity brings that behavior back into where it was.
[00:13:06] That's what NLP is understanding how to change our mindset. and how to remove the fear and how to embrace awesomeness.
[00:13:15] Curt Mercadante: I, I love it. Be we have a beliefs and behaviors workshop that focuses on that foundational, the foundational beliefs, which, you know, thoughts stem from your beliefs, but then your thoughts reinforce your beliefs.
[00:13:26] So it's like this
[00:13:27] Umar Hameed: cycle self perpetuating. If you, if I got a belief, which I hope I get, I'm the most handsome person in the world that even if one person out of a thousand looked at me and they were looking at somebody more handsome behind me, I'd be. Of course they know I'm handsome and I'd capture that would strengthen the belief.
[00:13:43] And if I thought I was like a, a loser and I lose toying cost, like who cares? And the toying cost, it would just reinforce that belief and it would get stronger and stronger till I get to this place where I don't even try new things and my life gets smaller. So when you get a belief, it becomes a [00:14:00] self-fulfilling prophecy and we're looking for data.
[00:14:02] So let's say Kurt, you got this belief that, uh, uh, you are, uh, a failure at business. Let's say you land a client that loves you. What you might say is this. I don't believe it. That they're working with us cuz literally our belief is saying they shouldn't be working for us. And then you'll do something dumb to sabotage what you're doing.
[00:14:22] And so our beliefs are so strong. If they were conscious, we kind of go that doesn't make any sense, but because they're unconscious, they change our thinking in subtle ways. And before we know it, if we had a positive belief, we are. Fricking amazing and happy. And if we had a negative one, it ends up tragically, unless we figure out how to take charge of this.
[00:14:42] And I think that's my mission in life is if we could teach people how to take charge of their mindset, then they could decide how they wanna feel. I mean, take bullying in high schools or elementary schools. There's a bully there that's needy that needs to be feared or liked or whatever. And they say this [00:15:00] hurtful comment.
[00:15:01] If the person doesn't react, they move on to the next person. If the person reacts, it gives them, uh, beats them. And they keep on picking till the person, uh, overcomes. And let's say somebody picked on some kid and they've reacted badly. And they had the skillset to let go of that negative event. The next day, when the bully comes and says, you're stupid and it'll be like, you know, whatever.
[00:15:22] And the bully just goes away, but we become our own victims. And if I can empower people to take charge of this Kurt, it would just make that 30 years of my life. That's kinda winding down or beyond. And it would make every day, a Joyst day, if I could help someone realize, and before we leave today, I'm gonna show you how to take charge of this.
[00:15:43] Yeah. Proof positive. And we'll talk about self-esteem, but, uh, uh, pretty much that's it. Your beliefs define you. And, uh, even listening to our conversation today, it could be somebody listening to it and they could go, huh? I don't need to believe this. And they'll just go on with their lives and the life would've [00:16:00] changed and you and I would've done a great.
[00:16:03] Yeah, we,
[00:16:03] Curt Mercadante: and, and, and on that note, you know, there's some people and, and, you know, I do daily calls with potential clients and, uh, you're a sales trainer. And what I find is one of the Mo one, one of the, one of the most interesting things, I, I don't use the word tough or hard, or, you know, like that, because then it becomes a belief that this is hard and I gotta struggle.
[00:16:21] But one of the most interesting things is getting someone. To embark on a journey to deal with their beliefs, but getting them before you work with them to overcome their beliefs enough to pay you money, to jump into the program about their beliefs. It it's. Yeah. It's very interesting.
[00:16:40] Umar Hameed: You know, it's the old catch 22.
[00:16:43] Yeah. Yeah. If you help me get over my limiting beliefs, I'll pay you, but I can't take the course till I pay you. This is like, exactly.
[00:16:51] Curt Mercadante: Exactly. What about, you know, you mentioned, uh, some things that happen. Uh, and I, and I, as you were saying, this pictures came into my head of, of, you know, [00:17:00] beliefs that all of a sudden, or, or fears or, uh, phobias that all of a sudden appear outta nowhere.
[00:17:06] I mean, when I was in college, I would, uh, you know, for drinking money, right. I would go and sell my blood plasma. Wow. They, these things where you could go and you get 25 bucks a pot, I remember one time where like, we're going to new Orleans in three days. So I went and you could do it every 24 hours. I think the episodes they would.
[00:17:24] Yeah. And they would, uh, This needle was about as big as a pencil. I feel like whoa, and it was big and they would put it in my arm. And you watched the blood spin. You got this weird taste in your mouth, almost like a Gatorade, cuz they would replace the PLA I, I would see other people pass out. I would laugh.
[00:17:40] I had no problem.
[00:17:42] Umar Hameed: 25 bucks KCH 12 years. Well, yeah,
[00:17:45] Curt Mercadante: 12 years ago I had an incident where all of a sudden the nurse said something while she was, I was getting a cholesterol test. She said something. I remember the exact words. Your vein collapsed. She [00:18:00] said those words I collapsed. I went down and ever since then I had problems.
[00:18:05] I could deal with it physically with giving blood. I recently came over it, uh, clearing some limiting beliefs, doing my mindfulness, my breathing program. Um, so that's, that's, that's an interesting thing where something bubbles up overnight. How often, you know, uh, some of these things, you know, we were programmed since we're one years old, uh, oh,
[00:18:24] Umar Hameed: less than that, less than that, my
[00:18:26] Curt Mercadante: friend, how do you overcome?
[00:18:28] Well, and I guess you're gonna show us here on, on the program today, but, um, is it, this is the root, the same something that appears seemingly overnight versus something that's been there that you don't even know is below the surface that's been there for 45 years is the root
[00:18:42] Umar Hameed: of those, the. Oftentimes like, I mean, there's, uh, diseases you're carrying in your body right now.
[00:18:49] And it could be some external trigger could trigger something. And the virus was always, always in your body. I think with Lyme disease sometimes, uh, I was reading a book where [00:19:00] the actual vaccine can trigger a dormant virus inside your brain that causes significant personality change. So the same thing is true.
[00:19:09] It's like some event happens when you are, you are. It's a traumatic event it's forgotten. So I'll give you a good example. I had this, uh, uh, guy come, his boss sentiment. See me, cuz he, uh, went to take his bar exam and he failed it. And he, when he went into the office, the CEO said, how did you do on the bar exam?
[00:19:27] And he goes, I. I flunked, I froze up, it was this one area of law and all the knowledge just left my head and I froze and I just flunked it. Go see Omar. So he comes in to see me and I say, Donna. Okay. So tell me, uh, you know, just before you got to that area of the law, see what you saw back then, hear what you heard back then flip over to that page and be there in that moment and see what you saw and hear what you heard.
[00:19:52] And notice what you're feeling in your body. And he goes, oh my God, there's a negative feeling right here. That's just come up. I said, okay, there's a [00:20:00] tool from neuroscience. You can use to link this feeling to the unconscious mind that records everything. And as soon as I did that, it went back to a childhood event.
[00:20:08] He was, uh, going to the movies with his uncle, his aunt and his cousins. It was a winter day in Baltimore and they came to a traffic light and across the street was the movie theater. And the marque was flashing movies, movies, movies, and Dom was about five years old and he was dancing cuz that's the favorite thing to do, go to the movies.
[00:20:26] And he didn't notice a patch of ice by his feet and he slipped on it and fell into the street just as a car was. And the car was gonna run him over, but the car jammed on the brakes and it ended up hitting him and knocking him over and going over him. But he was such a tiny kid be he was between the wheels.
[00:20:42] So his uncle goes over, brushes him off. Nothing's broken, nothing's bruised. They go to the movies. But inside his mind, when he was underneath that car, he had a thought, if you're not prepared, you could die. When he was taking his bar exam, uh, he was working full-time and he went to all the [00:21:00] classes except for one where he got some DVDs on that area of law and somewhere in his unconscious mind, I'm not prepared.
[00:21:06] Cause I didn't see it live. And soon as he went into that area of the law, it went back to that childhood memory and he just froze. And so we figured out what it was. We changed the belief around it, send him on his way. And there's a voicemail somewhere in my archives. About two months later him saying, Hey, Omar, just wanna let you know.
[00:21:24] I took my bar exam again. I aced it. Thanks so much for doing that. And that's how quickly we can get, uh, fragged up in an instant. Your body goes from your mindset, goes from state a being okay to being broken in a moment, but that's a state change in a moment. And then what I ended up doing was saying, okay, you are not okay and let's make you okay.
[00:21:51] And we're gonna do it in the same moment. that's the power of our mind literally is when things happen, they happen in a moment. So if someone's getting abused over seven [00:22:00] years, the seven years is awful, but it could have been three months into the abuse is where they made a belief about themselves. Like I'm a loser.
[00:22:10] Hmm. Didn't happen for three months and everything else after that, uh, strengthened that belief. But that moment created, and that's the belief that stopped them, living their life fully. So we can go back and change that. And all the energy from let's say somebody was seven when that happened. And now they're 27.
[00:22:29] They got 20 years of, uh, data reinforcing how much of a loser they are. And all of that is not true. Once you go back the original event and you heal it. You take the power out of everything and all that energy collects back up and it comes back into you that cuz right now there could be, uh, a phrase like you just said, that takes you back to that.
[00:22:50] And you FD a physical reaction because part of your energy was trapped in that event from all those years ago. And even though that negative event happened, it [00:23:00] allowed you to claim that energy back. And in a moment, if you like, I'm gonna show you a process to heal that. Yeah. And we can do that privately after this, uh, call or we can do it, uh, during this call, but it's all up to you, my friend.
[00:23:13] Curt Mercadante: Yeah. I'd love to do it on the call. You know, one quick question, and then let's, let's get into the nitty gritty of showing folks how, how this is done and, and sharing some of these, but how have you used you? You, you, you work with business owners and, and. The beliefs in business are the same as beliefs in body and, and, and mind and spirit,
[00:23:32] Umar Hameed: right?
[00:23:32] They're all interrelated. I could have a belief about, uh, I'm a loser. It could impact my business. It could impact my health. It could impact my happiness. I could have a belief that, you know, I'm not a good leader and I help them overcome that. And all of a sudden they tell me, oh my God, uh, my wife's changed.
[00:23:49] My relationship with my wife has changed. I'm not sure what happened to her. Nothing happened to her, cuz that one belief impacted you in many areas. You were only aware of the business side, but there was also a [00:24:00] personal side. And once we heal that you showed up differently. And of course, cuz you show up differently, your wife shows up differently and she didn't change.
[00:24:07] You changed. So they're all interconnected. Uh, even as human beings, we're a system and our system is mind, body and. There is a spiritual side of who we are an energetic body mm-hmm and I'm a firm believer in this concept. And I invite you to follow me on this journey. If you're not a devotee of this mindset, there's a mark Twain quote, sir, there are lies and there are damn lies, then there's statistics, but there's a fourth one, and this is the one I, uh, propose they're useful lies.
[00:24:45] Even what I'm telling you right now, if it's a useful lie, who cares as long as it gives you the results you want, because even Einstein in his infinite genius, he came up with a model of the world that turns out is not correct. Right? But [00:25:00] still with that, we have cell phones and we have this quantum leaf in these new technologies based on his insights that were wrong.
[00:25:07] Now there's better ones that he wasn't totally wrong. There's better models. And for you and I in human dynamics, Uh, my firm belief is whatever I know right now is the best I know, but there's better ways out there. And that keeps me on the lookout for new things. And so that thumb humans of meaning making machines, is it true?
[00:25:31] I think it is, even if it isn't, is it useful? Damn right? It is.
[00:25:35] Curt Mercadante: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I often say, you know, why don't we learn quantum physics growing up? Cause Newtonian physics can help you with carpentry. Yeah. Newtonian physics can help you being an engineer. And why gears turn? Is it the way the universe works?
[00:25:51] Not necessarily, but if we had taught quantum physics, you know, the schools currently are geared toward. Career and, and, and those [00:26:00] types of things. And
[00:26:00] Umar Hameed: so, um, well, let's jump in. Okay. Before we jump in, I'm gonna kind of tie it back to our friend Einstein. Yeah. We called quantum mechanics. Spooky. Yeah. Cause magical things happen.
[00:26:14] And what the mystics was saying about humans. And knowing and clear Voyance and all that stuff. There's a science behind it in the quantum world and make that a useful lie. Go study it. It's amazing. So, yeah, let's move on.
[00:26:26] Curt Mercadante: So yeah, I have, I have, uh, to show you the books that I have behind me, the holographic universe, everything.
[00:26:33] You know, real magic based on quantum physics and it, and it just, it blows my mind. And, but it also broadens my mind to have more context when stuff hits the fan to look and say, wait a second, this universe is pretty big and pretty amazing. And the ability to attract what you want. Um, and. And looking and, and it's so interesting.
[00:26:57] Yeah. Spooky action at a distance has been [00:27:00] proven
[00:27:00] Umar Hameed: now. Right. And, and like stodgy companies, like IBM approving it. Yeah. Right. They're cutting edge of this stuff. Okay. Here we go. You ready to go? Let's do it. I'm getting my, um, getting my phone ready and I'm gonna do something crazy on this. Fine. You won't even believe what I'm gonna do.
[00:27:17] I am going to do this. My friend, I am gonna hit, uh, start over. Okay. All right, Kurt, what I want you to do is this, want you to take a deep breath, let it out slowly. And when you think about that event with a nurse where you, uh, she said that phrase, what was the phrase that she said, uh, your vein collapsed, your vein collapsed, and then you collapsed, you fainted, right?
[00:27:41] Yeah. So when you think about that, uh, happening, uh, it's kind of worse some right? A little bit. what might happen in the future. Sure, absolutely. And so on a scale of one to 10, how likely that may happen again? 10 being absolute certainty, zero being it'll never happen. What's your internal compass that it might [00:28:00] happen again?
[00:28:00] Curt Mercadante: Um, right now, probably about a six.
[00:28:03] Umar Hameed: Yeah, a six. So, so what I want you to do is in a moment, I'm gonna get you to go into your mental theater and we're gonna. Two events we're gonna pick B and B will be the time before, you know, you went into, uh, uh, the place to do the blood draw for your cholesterol and everything was fine.
[00:28:20] You were feeling fantastic. That is gonna be B. And then you fainted and then you got home at some point and you were okay. And it could have been that afternoon. It could have been that evening, but at some point you were okay at what point in the evening or afternoon were you okay? and safe. And you were fine.
[00:28:38] Mm-hmm like, when was that? Was it at the nurse's office or when you got home or when was that? Uh,
[00:28:43] Curt Mercadante: no, it was pro I would say probably about five or six that night, depending on when it
[00:28:48] Umar Hameed: was, uh, right. So sometime that evening, right. You were okay. Yeah. So I want you to take a deep breath in and let it out slowly and close your eyes.
[00:28:55] And you're gonna make a, a movie, uh, right [00:29:00] before you. And in that movie, what you're going to do is go to five, six o'clock at night being at home and just see yourself there for a moment. Everything's okay. You're fine. You're safe. Can you see that? Yeah. Excellent. Now I want you to go all the way. Back when I tell you I'm gonna snap my fingers and you're gonna take the movie back, uh, going, you know, five times a normal speed all the way back to being in the nurse's office before she does the stick or says anything and she's smiling.
[00:29:31] You're smiling. Ready? 1, 2, 3, go from being okay in the evening to before the whole incident starts. Now, when you get there, let me.
[00:29:46] Okay, excellent. Now I want you to go back to, uh, a, you know, in the evening. Everything's okay. And you're gonna go back and this time you're gonna go 20 times faster back to being at the nurse's station. Everything's fine. You're okay. I'm gonna snap my [00:30:00] fingers 20 times faster. Go. Okay. Now I want you to go back to a, in the evening and this time when you go back, I want you to play just some silly, uh, carnival music in the background and 20 times faster.
[00:30:16] Go back now. Okay. And now once you go back to a, you're gonna go from a, to B with silly carnival music, 20 times faster. When you get to a, you're gonna feel great. You're gonna go to a blank screen and repeat it three times in a row, but always at blank screen after you get back to, uh, the beginning. Right?
[00:30:36] So do it three times fast now. Go.
[00:30:48] Okay, take a deep breath in again, let it out slowly. And I want you to just see yourself. In a medical situation, they're drawing blood, you're chitchatting with the person taking [00:31:00] it. Everything is fine. And, uh, you make them laugh just with something funny. You're saying, talking about what you do and everything is okay, and now I want you to open your eyes and I want you to think about the next time you go in for a medical procedure like that.
[00:31:15] Uh, you fainting 10 would be absolute. Certainly you're gonna faint. Zero is you're not gonna faint. What's that number? Change. I would say about a three now. Good. Not bad for four minutes. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So that's just a simple, small little example of the power we have. Once we realize the immense power, we have to change our experience.
[00:31:41] Cuz it turns out Kirk that there is no such thing as reality. There's a perception of reality because do you have any siblings by the.
[00:31:49] Curt Mercadante: Oh, yeah, I got, uh, three brothers and a
[00:31:51] Umar Hameed: sister. So a couple of those crazy people. When you think about an event that happened in your past, and it's like, and Betty was drunk.
[00:31:59] No, she [00:32:00] wasn't drunk. She wasn't even there. And it's like totally different recall of what happened. And it was such an important event for you and for them. So we have a perception of what happens in this world and the way we bring that in is through our eyes, what we see through our ears, what we hear, uh, smell, taste.
[00:32:19] Touch, uh, emotional touch. You know, we feel emotions we're touched by them. And the sixth sense if you believe that spookiness at the distance, that is how things come into our world. But we put up filters depending on our experience of how we grew up. and if you grew up in a rural place, animals and dying, and death is not that big a deal, cuz that's life on a farm.
[00:32:45] And if you grew up in, let's say Manhattan, there's no death and it's like a really hung up about it. So we see the world differently and what we see and what we don't see, uh, changes. And we've all had one of these experiences where we get half the people in a room [00:33:00] and we just tell them this secret, uh, incantation, are you.
[00:33:04] Yeah, yellow, yellow, yellow, yellow. And we get another group that we tell them, red, red, red, red, and then we open the door to another room. And of course the people that were programmed for yellow, see all the yellow things automatically and disregard the red and the red people see the red things. The same thing is true from our earlier experiences in life, they filter the way this, we see the world.
[00:33:27] And so what we need to realize is the way stuff went in was through the senses. That we can use the senses to recreate the meaning of things. And that's part of what NLP does. And that's part of a lot of other modalities do, and God knows. We've got eyes. We can see we've got ears. We can hear. Uh, so yeah, that's what, uh, that's what mindset really is, is just re-experiencing the world in a different way.
[00:33:54] Mm-hmm and changing the experiences we've already had in a way that it creates change. [00:34:00] I, I
[00:34:01] Curt Mercadante: love that. How you describe mindset because in, in our society, a lot of people have come to see mindset as just work harder and get pumped up without addressing the underlying beliefs
[00:34:11] Umar Hameed: and meanings. Right. Is, is that good advice for some people it's brilliant advice working hard knows down to the grindstone.
[00:34:19] Absolutely go do that. But a many of those people are miserable. Mm, and this other I'm gonna call them another scientific term, a bunch of bastards that are, are lazy bunch of no good, nothing. People that basically show up and they get 12 customers. It's like how right. My is different. And they just showing up differently and the universe is bending over backwards to help them.
[00:34:43] And I think not that mindset will make everything magical, but mine. So here's my hope for people is this is that you have. A version of yourself that you share the outside world. Look at me, I'm pretty or smart or intelligent or broken or a [00:35:00] victim or good for nothing. And then we have a sense of who we are, but there's a lie between the two, right?
[00:35:07] Hmm. But then there's a third space of who we actually are. If we figure out who we actually are, then we don't have to pretend who we think we are. We become that person. And if we get enough confidence, this is the person we show the outside world. So there's only one Kurt there. Isn't a Kurt that's in front of customer saying, Hey, oh mark, I'm Kurt.
[00:35:26] Or with his family or with his friends, it's the one Kurt. And those people are rare. Human beings. And the reason we love them is we feel safe around them because we, what we see is what we get. And there's an authenticity there. And my biggest dream for people is find your authentic self. Live your authentic self.
[00:35:48] And part of that journey is letting go of the limitations. Part of that is the need to be liked or loved, just goes away and you just become, uh, that person. And I'll leave [00:36:00] you with one thought and let you ask some more questions. But I heard this a long time ago, the three stages of man you believe in Santa Claus.
[00:36:10] You don't believe in Santa clause, you are Santa clause. Wow. And that's when you become authentic. Then you are just giving and you're not doing it with agenda. It's like, I want, I'm gonna do this. Cause I want Kurt to like me, cuz there's like a transactional thing. It's like, I want to help Kurt cuz he's a really nice guy doing good things.
[00:36:30] And that was my intention in, in being here today. But especially asked you permission. Can we do this thing online? A short little like, like thing? Uh, the intent wasn't look good. The intent was how can I be of service? Yeah. Yeah. You, you mentioned
[00:36:48] Curt Mercadante: something in terms of, and, and, and certainly, and in speaking about building your business and, and having a freedom, when you do it, you mentioned some people.
[00:36:58] Who you'll work with and, and probably in [00:37:00] workshops, right? Who do everything right? In terms of crossing the Ts, dotting the eyes on the skills, their script is tight. They make their calls. They, they they're marketing. Their message is great. And they can't seem to, to generate leads. They can't seem to book the business.
[00:37:18] And then, like you said, there's those other people who just kind of stumble Bumble through it and end up with 12 clients. What's the root of that. Um, and, and we just had, uh, Sarah Mahu who was a law of attraction expert come in. Nice. And, and I'm a big fan of that, but sometimes breaking that down for people in a way that doesn't seem magic, I'm doing everything.
[00:37:41] Umar Hameed: How do you deal with that? So there's probably a few levels there. Number one, it's the, do you know the skills? and it's like, yeah, I know what to do. This is what I need to say. And this is the steps to do it. Then we get to a level of, uh, do we have mastery over. [00:38:00] Because I can say all the right things to you occurred, but if I don't say them with the right intention and the right way, I'm not gonna get the same results.
[00:38:08] You wouldn't wanna work with me. Would you? Uh, I mean, we'd say stuff like that comes out instead of working with me and we don't even realize we're doing it. Uh, the second thing is, uh, so learning the skills, getting mastery, and then the third space mindset, because I can say. You may not know this, uh, Kurt, but I am, uh, women find me incredibly attractive.
[00:38:31] Now a lot of people believe in positive as affirmations, and I love them too. Here's why I like them. When I say. All women find me attractive. All women find me attractive. I'm listening for the voice in the background saying, who are you kidding? Come on, man. Have you seen your short or whatever? And the, the magic isn't in the affirmation to me, the magic is when that negative voice comes up.
[00:38:56] Cuz if you can trace that down to the belief that's causing it and [00:39:00] change that belief, that voice goes away. And so doing all the right things, if we don't really believe that we're worthy of it. Then we send off a subtle message. Have you ever been with someone where you meet someone, you go, oh my God, they looked apart.
[00:39:17] They're saying the right things, but there's a part of me picking up a sense that there's something wrong here. And you might be able to pick up what's wrong or you might not be able to, but you get a, a vibe that just isn't right. Have you ever had that experience? Oh yeah. Yeah. So that's what I'm talking about.
[00:39:30] You could be someone that knows all the scripts, you know how to do it, but you are putting out a vibe. That's saying, not me, don't pick me or I'm needy, or I want you just for your business. And I don't really care about you. And that's the mindset piece. And I think overcoming those limitations are critical and sometimes it's.
[00:39:51] It's a belief thing. And sometimes it's a spiritual thing where just somehow wondering what breaks my heart, uh, what [00:40:00] breaks my heart is. If I have a room full of a hundred people and I get them to tell the truth, and I say, how many people here know that you're not lovable? Hmm. Hands will go up my friend more hands than you would think.
[00:40:16] And when you talk to their friends, when you talk to their loved ones, they're like, what are you freaking kidding? Jane is freaking amazing. But somewhere in her heart, she believes that she's not lovable and she doesn't get the level of relationships she truly wants. It's not the other people, it's her.
[00:40:33] And she isn't even aware of it that some childhood experience or some spiritual damage was done. And all of that is healable. And soon as we heal it, it just changes everything. And that's the journey we need to be on. And here's what. My, my real belief is it's that if you believe in the maker, God, the universe, or whatever, the maker put you here to [00:41:00] shine, they did not put you here to fail.
[00:41:03] Failure is of our own making. Because when we were like dumb ass, stupid babies, we failed all the time and we didn't give a shit. It's just like, we just kept on exploring and learning. And it was just amazing. And then somewhere along the journey, because what our parents did or friends or whatever, we start making meaning about ourselves.
[00:41:23] And all of a sudden we start taking all that failure to heart, or I'm not good enough or bad or whatever. And so what we need to do is unlearn all of that stuff and realize that. It sounds like bullshit. There's no failure. There's only feedback because, uh, if we don't have the right belief, it feels like failure and it feels awful.
[00:41:43] And when you feel awful, you can't imagine a better alternative, but if you can just step back a little bit, it's like, okay. I, I truly believe that Kurt, my friend, you have a God given right to suck, and I want you to have that and embrace it. Cuz if you had the ability to [00:42:00] suck, you wouldn't give a shit and you would go try something new.
[00:42:04] Your first attempt, would it be T dreadful? No, you're an intelligent guy. You've got lots of resources. Let's say you get a six outta 10 on your first try, which is probably way better than anyone else. But if you waited for perfection, you'd never get off the starting line. And soon as you do the six outta 10, you'd kinda look at and go, huh?
[00:42:22] What could I do better instantly. You're gonna get three ideas to do it better. Worst case you'll, you'll ask someone that you care about. In that area and they'll say, oh, Kurt, oh, you just need to change this. And before you know, it you'll be at an eight outta 10. And then in the next little while, you'll be at nine outta 10 and it might take you a lifetime to go from a nine to a 10 cuz that's what you're talking about.
[00:42:42] Getting into like genius mode. But that's one thing geniuses do is they're always looking at what's that one little thing I can do to tweak it, to get it closer to the a hundred percent. And, but if you don't ask that question and you don't go for. Embrace your ability to fail [00:43:00] and to suck. You won't get off the lines and that's, there's so many people out there that have the answer to the world's problems, but because they're waiting for perfection, they're not sharing it with the world.
[00:43:11] Yeah. Go forth and suck my people.
[00:43:16] Curt Mercadante: what, what are some, you know, looking back and, and, and working, uh, say in the business context with business people. Yeah. Who, who are maybe suffering, not where they're at. Not, not where they want to be. Uh, especially when it comes to growth sales. Any, any very interesting stories.
[00:43:33] Cause I love hearing
[00:43:33] Umar Hameed: actually like just I'll tell you one story. Yeah. And I know we're coming up to the end of the hour, then I'm gonna give an experience to your folks. So they get something, a takeaway they can use right away. Yeah, absolutely. So I got this, uh, I did a keynote. And, uh, this guy came in to see me afterwards and he says, Omar, I'm the number one salesperson for my company.
[00:43:52] I'm winning awards and I'm, I'm making a ton of cash. And I go, okay, that doesn't seem like a problem. He says, the problem is, this is, I know [00:44:00] I could be operating at a much higher level, but I'm not. And he tries me freaking crazy than I'm not at the next level. No matter what I do, I can't get to the next plate.
[00:44:08] Said. Okay. Tell me about a particular time. You were like, uh, beating yourself up about not doing better. He says I came home and I was in the driveway before I went in the house and I had a thought and the thought was, why aren't I doing better? What's wrong with me? I said, okay, in your minds, I go back to that moment.
[00:44:25] And when you go back there, I want you to notice if you were feeling anything uncomfortable in your body in that moment, he says, yeah, there was an uncomfortable feeling right here when I was thinking that thought. So I used a tool from neuroscience to link this feeling to the unconscious mind that records everything.
[00:44:40] And soon as we linked the two, it went to a childhood memory. He had forgotten, uh, he'd gone into a restaurant with his parents. He was about eight years old. And before the waitress came, dad pointed at him and said, remember, Don't order steak. We can't afford it. And in that moment, it's set up a belief around self worth and money.
[00:44:57] And even with that limiting belief, he's the number one [00:45:00] sales guy. But soon as he wants to do better than he's doing that, limiting belief kicks in, it starts an uncomfortable feeling that keeps him prisoner where he is at. So we figured out the belief where he came from changed the belief. And about a week later, I got a call from him saying, I'm not sure what the freak he did, man.
[00:45:16] but my confidence, my drive, my passion is off the charts and I'm just operating at a much higher level now. And that's what we can do. Whether that's an area of sales, business, love life, loving yourself, this block stopping you from becoming exceptional. And that's my calling in the world is to help people get those breakthrough.
[00:45:39] thank you
[00:45:39] Curt Mercadante: for sharing that. I love that. And, and I've had some similar experiences that actually my mind exactly went to, it had to do with gobos and a toy, and they said we can't afford it. And, um, oh yeah. Please jump in. If you wanted to share that gift with our listeners and our viewers.
[00:45:53] Umar Hameed: All right. So here we go, Kurt, uh, on a scale of one to a hundred, what is your level of self-esteem right now, 100 [00:46:00] being you're a Disney character and it ends well at the end of the movie.
[00:46:04] And, uh, zero would be that you are so depressed. You can't wait till I shut up so you can crawl under your table and fuck your phone. . So what's your level of self esteem on a scale of zero to a hundred? Right now, I'd say between
[00:46:16] Curt Mercadante: 65 and.
[00:46:18] Umar Hameed: So that's 65 and 70. So Kurt, uh, USA today is gonna write an article about you and what you're doing these days, and your friends tell you, you better get ready for this interview.
[00:46:30] And to get ready, you go into this room. That's divided in two with a glass wall, and you sit on one side, uh, of the glass wall on a table, a chair, a tablet of paper, and a pen. You start writing your accomplishments all the way back to when you were just a little. The finger paintings you did, your parents loved things you did in elementary school, things you did for your family, sporting events.
[00:46:54] You're writing your accomplishments in high school and college at work with your family. And as you're writing your [00:47:00] accomplishments, the essence of who you are, some people may call it spirit, uh, steps outta your body, and it floats through the glass wall. And it's you step on the other side of the glass wall, looking at yourself, writing your accomplishments on the other side of the.
[00:47:14] Hmm. And as you're doing that, somebody from your life, Kurt comes and stands right beside you. It could be somebody it's somebody that loves you very much or values. You highly think of who that person is for you. And when you've got that person, no your head. So I know, you know, who, who that person is, have them stand right beside you, and since your spirit step into their body and see yourself writing your accomplishments on the other side of the room, through their loving eyes and really get a good sense of that.
[00:47:43] And then here are the thoughts they have about you, how much they love you and how much they care about you. And finally, I want you to feel the depth of their emotions for you since you're inside their body. Now step outside of their body, go through that glass wall and step back into where you're sitting right now, listening to me.[00:48:00]
[00:48:00] And when you step back into your body and you think about your self esteem, that number's changed, what's that number at? I'd say it's about an
[00:48:07] Curt Mercadante: 85 90
[00:48:08] Umar Hameed: at this point. Not bad for a few minutes, dude, jump in an extra 10 points. You're about to go into a sales meeting and you just amp up your self confidence by 10% is a game changer.
[00:48:19] Mm-hmm uh, you're going to take your sweet out sweetheart out for a date and you can go as dumpy Kurt, or you can just do this exercise and amp up your self-esteem and that would just make you more loving, more gracious, more present. She's gonna notice that, and it's gonna change that. So you can use this tool for sporting events, for dates, for business, and that's the power.
[00:48:45] I want people to know that they have in the Palm of their hands to take charge of their mindset. So they show up in the world more powerfully. And one of the, was that useful for you?
[00:48:56] Curt Mercadante: It, it was, it was, I, I, I actually felt myself tearing up a [00:49:00] bit.
[00:49:00] Umar Hameed: Um, and getting, who did you pick? Did you pick as the person for you?
[00:49:03] Uh, my dad
[00:49:04] Curt Mercadante: who, who passed away 10 years ago, but isn't that beautiful? He's my
[00:49:07] Umar Hameed: biggest fan. You know, sometimes people pick, uh, their four year old daughter. Mm. And it makes their heart just weak with happiness cuz their four yearold does not see them just as a human being. They're like a God. and it, they see themselves and that's who they really are to them.
[00:49:27] And it's, it's the power. We have to decide how we feel. And one of the projects I'm working on, I'll let you know. And if you can have help spread the word, I've got an app coming out called mindset boosters, and that app. We'll have Omar in the app that when you feel anxiety within five minutes, the anxiety will go away.
[00:49:47] So it can show up. If you need to feel more loving, you'll feel more loving. If you need to feel more courageous in six minutes, you'll do that. And hopefully that'll change the world, giving people the power to decide how they wanna feel in any situation. [00:50:00]
[00:50:00] Curt Mercadante: So you, you you're building the app. You've mentioned workshops, keynotes.
[00:50:03] How do you, how do people work with you? How, how do
[00:50:05] Umar Hameed: people, how can clients work fastest way to find me is you're gonna put links in the show notes, but if you go to, uh, no limits selling that's limits with an S so there's two S's there no limits selling that's you'll find me there, or just put my name in Google.
[00:50:21] And the first few arrest reports are, it was a misunderstanding. Okay. No, only kidding. There's no arrest rewards but I'm all over the internet because I've got a lot of videos just to give back and teach people how to take charge of this. So they become better human beings. Kurt you're, you are a great interviewer.
[00:50:38] And, uh, one of the things I noticed was, you know, I feel like a diva. It was all about me and you graciously. Sean the light on me and that's what a great host does. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for, uh, a great opportunity. Well, I appreciate
[00:50:52] Curt Mercadante: it. And thank you because one of the reasons I have the podcast is to learn myself in addition to allowing others to learn from our guests.
[00:50:58] So Umar [00:51:00] really wanna appreciate, I really appreciate it. I wanna thank you for coming on the
[00:51:02] Umar Hameed: freedom media network and I've got a podcast too. We're gonna share. I'm gonna have you on my show and, uh, you get to be the diva and I'll be going Curt. Welcome to the show. take it. Curt. Thanks so much. It's a deal.
[00:51:15] Thanks a lot, Umar. Cheers.